I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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