Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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