I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
