we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
