god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
