apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
