Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
