Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
