So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
