I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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