god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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