do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
