I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
