The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
