found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
