thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You were trust falling into bushes
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
