She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
