i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
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Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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