I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
