The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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