is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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