So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
