i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
