Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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