suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
