Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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