she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize