He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
