Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
