wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
