I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
