She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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