I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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