I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
