everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
