dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
