We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
