He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
if only i could text you this smell
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
