If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She announced her abortion via fbk
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
