Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
