she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
