I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
