I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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