let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
