I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
