The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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