I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
