Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
