how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
