Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
