let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
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