Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
