I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
