Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
