Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We need a shit load of segways right now
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
