Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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