we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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