Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
