Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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