Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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