haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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