I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
