Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
