Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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