he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
