Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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