whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
