I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So I just went to clothing optional bar