The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.